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Monday, March 29, 2010

My Birthday Part 1

My birthday post, finally! I had an extremely fun birthday with a few different celebrations and I am honestly so grateful to my friends and family for all the trouble that they went to to. A couple of weeks ago I went out with my family (parents and sister) and Rydog to Sydney city. We went on a short cocktail cruise around Sydney harbour and then to dinner at a hotel. It was a beautiful place, I only wish the weather was a bit better. The pictures in this post are all from this night. The weekend after Rydog's family took me out for dinner to a buffet restaurant which was also in Sydney city. It was really bright and fun atmosphere and I enjoyed a nice walk around the harbour afterwards. I hope I can obtain some pictures of this night later. Both of the nights were different and special in their own ways. I felt very sad once everything was over and I had to return to the realities of every day life.

I must admit that I had been dreading turning 21 for many months prior to my birthday. I guess its because I feel like I am still a teenager and very young at heart and sometimes I feel like I will never grow up and I fear being left behind in life. I wish I had done more with my life and made different decisions and becoming older is difficult for me to accept. Because of this reason I didn't really want a huge party like many people do when they are 21 but I certainly wanted to use the experience as a chance to go out and celebrate with the people that I love. The trouble that everyone went to certainly achieved what I desired for my birthday.

I wore my Alannah Hill dress for both occassions.

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I am really looking forward to the Easter break at the end of this week and I will have two weeks off from university. I have many assessments to complete but also many events planned so I think I will have a fun time. I need some time to catch up with everything.

I'm sorry that I have been so negative on my blog lately but sometimes I need to express how I feel and also look back on this as a personal memory of how I was at certain times and what my life was like. The truth is that I am struggling right now and I am not too proud to admit it. Its difficult to explain everything just here but I feel very lost and to be perfectly honest, quite depressed and tired a lot of the time. I am struggling with basic tasks such as study and work which I used to do so easily in the past. Many people think that my life is good but that doesn't make it any easier for me because somehow I can't see that and I am not happy within myself. I feel extremely nervous and anxious and sometimes I can't even explain why. I know that a lot of my problems are associated with me living in the past and my inability to move on. I don't know what it is about the present that makes me always want to live in the past and go back and change things. I am constantly analysing my life and I will often sit for hours just thinking about behaviour and past events rather than actually living my current life.Recently a close friend of mine explain that I need to stop this analysis paralysis and relax and actually live my life. This is difficult to do in practice and instead I find myself analysing the fact that someone else noticed this about me. I could write about this for hours but I am not going to here. I don't know to what extent I should write about but I guess I need you, as my friends, to be here for me...

Monday, March 22, 2010

Outfit

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't posted about my birthday even though I said I would last week. I have been very busy with some celebrations but also university assessments which are due in the next couple of days. Since I have been very unhappy and unfocused at university this year, I have found assessments more difficult and burdensome than usual but I am pleased that I have been able to complete the first few. Unfortunately the posts about my birthday will have to wait a few more days because I just haven't had the time to prepare them and I want to complete everything properly...maybe after my company accounting exam.

I thought it was time for another outfit post so this is what I wore yesterday. My skirt and bag are gifts that I receieved for my birthday and the shoes I bought myself this week with money which I was also given for my birthday. You may also notice that I cut my hair (although maybe not since I almost always tie up my hair). I had a very sustantial amount cut off and I don't think I've ever had my hair this short before. In many ways I prefer long hair on me but I cut it to remove a lot of damage and so more of my hair would be my natural colour so I am pleased with my decision.

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Thank you for the birthday messages in my last post. I will reply to comments as soon as I can.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Its my birthday!

Its my birthday today! I'm very excited about some of the upcoming celebrations for my birthday and my family and friends have all been so generous to me.

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I will post later in the week about my birthday because I have so many things to show you and a few things to say.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Red Carpet 2010

I have been posting about awards ceremonies for a while now so I thought that I couldn't let the most important one pass by without some sort of comment. I really enjoyed the fashion at the Oscars this year because there were more dresses than usual that were in accordance with my taste and there weren't too many fashion disasters. Unfortunately I don't have as much time to make as comprehensive review as I would like to so this will have to suffice. As you can tell by my choices I absolutely adore nude colour dresses.

Good:
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-Anna Kendrick is relatively new to the red carpet but she certainly knows how to dress for these sorts of events. The colour of her dress is beautiful and the style and sleeves make a statement. I love the decorative and fitted top which flairs out into a flowy skirt. The whole look is extremely classy. I also love her hair style which suited her look.
-Its a refreshing change to see Kristin Stewart look so elegant in this outfit and I much prefer it to some of her previous and fun outfits. I like the deep and rich colour and I think it is a sophisticated look.
-I love Demi Moore's dress and I think she looks very pretty. Again, the colour of her dress is beautiful and very in at the moment and the ruffles at the bottom make a statement and are so gorgeous. I also like the top of the dress and the incorporation of the two shades of pink. This is very close to being my favourite dress of the event.


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-Miley's dress was my absolute favourite of the whole event and I think it is just perfect. This dress is timeless, classic and classy and I love the fitted and silky bodice which flairs out into a stunning dress. I think the choice of champagne colour rather than white complemented her look. I disagree with anyone who says that Miley's dress is too old for her because I don't think seventeen is too young to try a sophisticated look. I think she pulled this off perfectly and I love how her red carpet taste has developed in the past couple of years. I honestly can't explain how much I love this dress.
-I love Rachel McAdams and I think she is very talented. The main reason why I like this dress is because it is different and colourful. Although I love nude and metalic dresses, it is also refreshing to have some variety and pattern.
-Cameron Diaz's outfit is another stunning dress in a neutral tone. I simple love the detailing and decoration and the shape of this dress. It is a beautiful, statement dress and one of my favourite of her red carpet looks.

Bad:

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There were many more dresses that I didn't like but I only have time to select a few- Jennifer Lopez, Nicole Richie and Sarah Jessica Parker. In my opinion these dresses are completely wrong and I strongly dislike them. Feel free to disagree with me in regards to any of my choices.

So...what did you think?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Outfit

Hello everyone! I have really missed not posting for the last week and I am certainly looking forward to catching up with your blogs this weekend.

To be honest, I have had another very difficult and overwhelming week regarding university. As I said last week, I am worried that I won't pass my subjects and that it will all be too much and too difficult for me and this makes me feel nervous. In a way I feel like I have scared myself so much that I don't even want to try. I feel like I have reached the point where I cannot take any more studying and I cannot apply myself or actually bring myself to do the work anymore. The emphasis on independent learning and study days make me feel lonely and I'm finding them hard to get through and something which I can't handle well right now. I really wish I could quit right now and I honestly don't know what I am going to do. Everyone that I know tells me that I am the sort of person who will regret quitting but it feels like it would make me feel happy again. At the moment I am just going along with things, attempting the work but not engaging in it, existing but not living and hoping that somehow things will get better and that I will find my way.

I chose this outfit because I wanted to wear something bright and colourful. The weather has become noticeably colder this week and it makes me dread the thought of winter in a couple of months. I know that for most of you this weather would not be cold at all but it is for me because it is what I am used to here in Australia.

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Thank you to all of you for supporting me. Temporarily escaping into the world of blogging and dressing up in a nice outfit are two of the few things that can make me feel a bit better right now.