Outfit

Firstly I wanted to share my happy and bright outfit with you. In recent times I've come to love yellow despite many years of not wearing it previously. I was really missing out because I absolutely adore yellow and now I'm slowly building up a collection of yellow pieces. I've had this cardigan for awhile and it instantly adds so much to a look. I love the beads, detailing and sequin buttons. Also following on from the yellow theme is this coat I received courtesy of Sheinside. This is a website I've come across recently; they have some lovely pieces and are definitely worth checking out. A yellow coat is an item I've wanted from ages so it was an obvious choice for me. I love the little bow and the collarless design seems very modern. I like the length of it against my floral skirt. This skirt has been one of my favourites for so many years. Not only do I adore the colourful floral design, I think the embroidered detailing is a special feature. It's another treasure which my mother in law bought me back in the days I miss so much. My shoes deserve a mention since they are my latest bargain. Can you believe I purchased these from Kmart for only $15. I love them so much that I'm tempted to buy many pairs and stock them up so I can wear these shoes for ever. I actually like the shoes in Kmart and Target, if you're there at the right time you can undoubtedly find bargains.

My blog makes me feel like I'm living a lie. The life I present here with the endless supply of clothes, bright colours, pretty pieces, kitty cats and unicorns is so different to how I feel in reality. I am the most depressed, miserable, unhappy and worthless person in the world. I try not to make my blog about that my hopelessness but occasionally I just can't stand being so fake. You are all so nice to me by complimenting my outfits and saying I'm sweet and kind (your friendship has saved me many times) but I doubt you'd like me in real life. I've always found it hard to make friends and initiate conversations but now it's becoming worse. My depression has ruined all my relationships; I'm hard to be around because I'm always sad, I feel like a burden no one understands me and I'm taken my anger out on others more times than I like to remember. I feel alone and unwanted. I feel like a shadow of my former self and powerless to change. I am so horrendously unhappy. It's a struggle to get out of bed on the weekend to take these pictures. In the past I've written about some of my experiences with depression and anxiety; I even mentioned how work gave me a purpose and changed my life immensely. All of that means nothing now and I feel stupid for saying it. My depression returned this year and to an absolutely unprecedented level; the pain and anger I feel towards the world is indescribable. Each day is a struggle and I feel so hopeless. I'd be here forever if I were to explain it all. I've tried so many times to make changes and have a fresh start but it never works. I'm exhausted and don't have the strength. I guarantee that tomorrow I'll feel just the same, eternal suffering, forever in pain. People ask me if I've tried certain things to improve my situation or get help. I assure you I've tried everything imaginable. There's no happy ending for me but when others believe in me more than I do myself, it provides a little hope.  



















Forever New Floral Embroidery Skirt
Forever New 'From Paris with Love Bag'
Alannah Hill Til It Shines Cardigan
Girl Xpress Floral Top
Girl Xpress Flats 
Yellow Bowknot Front H-Line Simple Wool Blend Coat c/o Sheinside

Linking to: What I Wore Wednesday, More Pieces of Me, On the Daily Express, Fashion Item Friday