My head's under water but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind.

Today's post is rather random. It incorporates a number of miscellaneous things I've wanted to say for ages and provides an update on some aspects of my life.

I LOVE yellow coats at the moment. I have a number of coats but yellow has always been the missing piece from my coat collection. I particularly admire 'The Great Escape Coat' from Alannah Hill. I adore the beautiful detailing, the subtle pattern and the dressy style. Unfortunately coat is from last year's collection so the chances of obtaining it are rather slim. A few weeks ago , while browsing the Alannah Hill website, I noticed this coat suddenly appeared in the clearance section. It was reduce to $97 from the original price of over $500. I couldn't believe it, what a discount, it seemed too good to be true. Unfortunately it was too good to be true. I added the beautiful coat to my online shopping basket and proceeded to search the Internet some more. However, when I later went to pay for the coat, it was gone! I was disappointed beyond words. I contacted Alannah Hill and was informed that it had sold out and was unavailable even in all the outlet stores. Extremely unlucky! The lesson from this story is to make sure you complete your online purchases as soon as possible. Those emails we receive from Modcloth about unattended items in our shopping bags being eaten by gnomes are obviously not for nothing. If for some reason I do manage to track down this fabulous coat I'll be so happy. In the alternative, I'll still be on the look out for another yellow coat. 
 

There's nothing quite like the power of unexpected gifts to make the day better. My aunt bought me this gorgeous cushion from Domayne a few weeks ago; she said it reminded her of me. I can see why because I adore it; anything girly and cat related is most definitely my style.  A pretty royal sophisticated kitty cat- what more could I want in a cushion? It looks super pretty in my apartment, the detailing is very beautiful. I totally wasn't expecting this gift so I appreciated it even more. These days I'm very obsessed with pretty decorations and accessories for the apartment. It used to be only clothes and shoes that tempted me to spend money but now I have added home decors to that list also. I'm always on the lookout for lovely unique pieces and I'm sure building up quite a collection. Fortunately I have a very patient and understanding husband; his objections are limited to all the pink, unicorn and cat decorations in our place.


Last week I received the most wonderful and unbelievable new; that I achieved a distinction in the subject of Trust and Office Accounting as part of the Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice I'm studying at The College of Law. I'm still completely speechless. I cried so much I was that overwhelmed. My self confidence is extremely low and any boost means the world to me. I never thought I would be capable of even passing one subject at The College of Law. That's the main reason why I never intended to go and why it took over a year for me to even consider the possibility of enrolling. I also don't have much time for the course since I work full time. This is far beyond any expectations I ever had for myself. My other marks for the course are not of distinction material but it really doesn't matter. It surprises me every day that, so far, I'm getting through the course. 

 
Last week I couldn't resist purchasing this adorable panda umbrella from Modcloth. While I shouldn't be spending money, how is it even a choice when an item is this cute and unique? I cannot wait until it arrives. I think it will even make me look forward to the rain. Just look at that lovely smile and the little panda ears. I can just picture myself showing up to work on a rainy day accompanied by my new umbrella. I find myself drawn to anything panda related at the moment. Have you found any sweet quirky fashion related pieces recently? 

I've been trying to remain positive on my blog and not ruin this space with my constant negativity and hopelessness. But sometimes it frustrates me to pretend that my life is all happiness, colour, pretty dresses and sparkle; that's always just a distraction from the emptiness and sadness I feel inside. I just want to be like everyone else, to fit in, to feel worthy and wanted, to have my self confidence back, to feel like there's a purpose to life, to stop hiding away from social events, to not be so angry and scared of the world. I'd give the world to be able to restore important relationships which have deteriorated over the past year. I miss them. How do you overcome fear barriers to make improvements in life? What do you do when life becomes overwhelming and it's hard to push through? What if you feel so powerless to change? How do you remain positive?

PS. Can you guess my favourite song right now?