Monday, May 5, 2014

My head's under water but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind.

Today's post is rather random. It incorporates a number of miscellaneous things I've wanted to say for ages and provides an update on some aspects of my life.

File:The Great Escape Coat (Yellow) $489 front.jpg
I LOVE yellow coats at the moment. I have a number of coats but yellow has always been the missing piece from my coat collection. I particularly admire 'The Great Escape Coat' from Alannah Hill. I adore the beautiful detailing, the subtle pattern and the dressy style. Unfortunately coat is from last year's collection so the chances of obtaining it are rather slim. A few weeks ago , while browsing the Alannah Hill website, I noticed this coat suddenly appeared in the clearance section. It was reduce to $97 from the original price of over $500. I couldn't believe it, what a discount, it seemed too good to be true. Unfortunately it was too good to be true. I added the beautiful coat to my online shopping basket and proceeded to search the Internet some more. However, when I later went to pay for the coat, it was gone! I was disappointed beyond words. I contacted Alannah Hill and was informed that it had sold out and was unavailable even in all the outlet stores. Extremely unlucky! The lesson from this story is to make sure you complete your online purchases as soon as possible. Those emails we receive from Modcloth about unattended items in our shopping bags being eaten by gnomes are obviously not for nothing. If for some reason I do manage to track down this fabulous coat I'll be so happy. In the alternative, I'll still be on the look out for another yellow coat. 
There's nothing quite like the power of unexpected gifts to make the day better. My aunt bought me this gorgeous cushion from Domayne a few weeks ago; she said it reminded her of me. I can see why because I adore it; anything girly and cat related is most definitely my style.  A pretty royal sophisticated kitty cat- what more could I want in a cushion? It looks super pretty in my apartment, the detailing is very beautiful. I totally wasn't expecting this gift so I appreciated it even more. These days I'm very obsessed with pretty decorations and accessories for the apartment. It used to be only clothes and shoes that tempted me to spend money but now I have added home decors to that list also. I'm always on the lookout for lovely unique pieces and I'm sure building up quite a collection. Fortunately I have a very patient and understanding husband; his objections are limited to all the pink, unicorn and cat decorations in our place.

Study guide for Capital - Harry CleaverLast week I received the most wonderful and unbelievable new; that I achieved a distinction in the subject of Trust and Office Accounting as part of the Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice I'm studying at The College of Law. I'm still completely speechless. I cried so much I was that overwhelmed. My self confidence is extremely low and any boost means the world to me. I never thought I would be capable of even passing one subject at The College of Law. That's the main reason why I never intended to go and why it took over a year for me to even consider the possibility of enrolling. I also don't have much time for the course since I work full time. This is far beyond any expectations I ever had for myself. My other marks for the course are not of distinction material but it really doesn't matter. It surprises me every day that, so far, I'm getting through the course. 

 Panda-monium Umbrella - Black, White, Casual, Spring, Travel, Best Seller, Gals
Last week I couldn't resist purchasing this adorable panda umbrella from Modcloth. While I shouldn't be spending money, how is it even a choice when an item is this cute and unique? I cannot wait until it arrives. I think it will even make me look forward to the rain. Just look at that lovely smile and the little panda ears. I can just picture myself showing up to work on a rainy day accompanied by my new umbrella. I find myself drawn to anything panda related at the moment. Have you found any sweet quirky fashion related pieces recently? 

I've been trying to remain positive on my blog and not ruin this space with my constant negativity and hopelessness. But sometimes it frustrates me to pretend that my life is all happiness, colour, pretty dresses and sparkle; that's always just a distraction from the emptiness and sadness I feel inside. I just want to be like everyone else, to fit in, to feel worthy and wanted, to have my self confidence back, to feel like there's a purpose to life, to stop hiding away from social events, to not be so angry and scared of the world. I'd give the world to be able to restore important relationships which have deteriorated over the past year. I miss them. How do you overcome fear barriers to make improvements in life? What do you do when life becomes overwhelming and it's hard to push through? What if you feel so powerless to change? How do you remain positive?

PS. Can you guess my favourite song right now?


AVY said...

No one ever gets me gifts anymore. I have no idea how to stay positive but the good thing is I'm still alive.

/ Avy

Jackie Harrison said...

Your Aunt know how to put a smile in your face with that adorable pillow.

L C said...

That cushion is beyond adorable! Your auntie has great taste!
. RAVISHING on Bloglovin’ here.

Pilar Domínguez said...

Yellow is a very nice colour. I am in love with it this season. The cushion is really lovely. Kisses:)

www.janetteria.com said...

I love yellow too! :)

Launna said...

Imogen.. most of us are barely swimming and keeping our head above the water... I don't know if there is a norm... I do know that life is not simple and all we want is to be happy...

I want this so much for everyone.. I am still taking a break but I had read this and you have the right to be real and not pretend, this is your blog, your space.

I adore you for your honesty... <3

The Dainty Dolls House said...

The dress is gorgeous. And the gift from your Aunt is so sweet. I hope you will lift yourself doll, sometimes things can seem down the way, but it's our outlook on these things that can make all the difference. Keep positive and the sun will shine again for you on things xx

laura|daisychaindream said...

It sounds stupid, but the best way I found to power forwards was fake it till I made it. When I felt scared, I told myself I wasn't. When I felt anxious I covered it up...it's not easy but in the end I had more good days than bad and really started to believe in myself.

Have you ever tried CBT? It was a life changer for me.

LOVE that yellow coat xx

Mrs. Glam said...

Love that song ... John Legend's lyrics are great.

Congrats on your distinction! Just remember: you are WORTH every good thing that comes your way :)

Lady parisienne said...

very pretty articles!

Kati said...

Thanks so much for your comment, it means a lot!
Congrats on your distinction - you are beautiful and smart!

Have a fantastic day,

Anonymous said...

Great post dear


Georgie said...

So sad that you missed out on the coat, keep looking it might pop up somewhere like eBay? Sorry to hear you're feeling down at the moment, try to draw on the positive things in your life for happiness like your distinction in the course. Clearly you're intelligent, that's something to be happy about! Hope you feel better soon xx

☾ www.liquoricepearls.com ☾

Green Tea and Cupcakes said...

Im going to sound so corny but I have just finished reading the book, The Secret and it's kind of made me change my thinking patterns. It's made me try and drop my negative thoughts and only think positive cause what you are thinking or feeling is what you attract into your life.I hope you feel better soon hon xxx

Emmylou said...

Thank you for the update, Imogen. First of all, congrats on receiving that distinction. You should be very proud:D And so sorry to hear you didn't get the coat, but u know, a better one will be coming along your way.
And don't apologize for what you post in your blog This is your space, and your honesty is refreshing.

Merrie K. said...

Talking to others about my problems and writing about them...helps me maintain (or try to maintain) perspective. :) Love the yellow jacket (I can't believe it was $90!!) and the tabby pillow is beautiful. Good luck continuing your studies...I'm sure you have more distinctions in your future!

Lorna said...

I'm in Love With yellow coats too.. Same tastes ;)


Ana Robinson said...

Everything looks so great! You aunt has great taste x

Love, Ana ♥
New post on:

Couture Carrie said...

Love that song.
And such a cute umbrella!


Manhattan Image and Style said...

I love the pillow sweetie! Great post!

New Blog Post: [Outfit Idea] .A Colorful Scarf.
Previews Blog Post: [Inspiration] .You Are Not Alone In Your Walk.


That's such a wonderful song too! I think we all get this way at some point, but the most important thing to do is to surround yourself with positive affirmations and people around you, that will lift you up. Music and art for me helps. I am always listening to good music and I love going to museums to take my mind off of things. Great gift that you received as well!

Caro * said...

Cute umbrella and this yellow dress is very pretty :)

Eline said...

You totally deserve the distinction! Hopefully it gave your confidence a boost as well, cause you can do it!

The AnarCHIC said...

That dress and that cuscinos are so beautiful!
Un abbraccio
Eva e Valentina the anarCHIC

Panty Buns said...

That yellow coat was beautiful. It seems a shame that you just missed it, but who knows. maybe you're destined to fins an even prettier one for a better price. You never know. The crowned kitty cat artwork on that cushion is incredible. I love the shape of the cushion itself too. CONGRATULATIONS on your achievement - the distinction in the subject of Trust and Office Accounting as part of the Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice you're studying. That Panda umbrella from Modcloth is adorable.
How do I overcome the fear, negativity and hopelessness? The Serenity Prayer and taking things one-day-at-a-time- or even one-minute-at-a-time if I have to and trying to enjoy what I can out of each moment, not worrying about what is beyond my control and just doing the best I can when I do something, recognising I'm a fallible human being.
My guesses at your favourite song right now: The song "Ooh Child by The Five Stairsteps? The song "Don't Worry. Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin? I hope your favourite song right now is an uplifting one.

P.S.: I did a new post: "Shadowline and Victorias Secret Lingerie Fashion OOTDs and Reviews with Dressing Room Selfie Photos and Video with Blooper"

Gems - Fashion Well Done said...

Aww Imogen, I'm so happy that the distinction meant so much to you, as it should.
I completely understand how you feel as I battle with these sort of feelings all the time too. You have to learn that it isn't your fault that you feel this way, it is something that has happened to you. I strongly advise visiting you doctor and discussing you issues, problems with how you feel are just as important as your physical health. Your doctor may recommend some medication or a course of therapy to boost your mood and self esteem.

When I was at my worst a lot of my relationships deteriorated and I felt incredibly isolated, but if they cant be there for you when it matters, it isn't those relationships that matter.

I'm here if you need to talk or need a sounding board, or just need to have a rant.

Gems x
Fashion, Well Done

Rowena @ rolala loves said...

Congratulations on your distinction! That panda umbrella is pretty irresistible! I think I wouldn't even mind the rain with it :)

Real life isn't all rainbows and what we present on our blogs is just a fraction of our lives. It sounds like you're going through a rough period and I hope you can get past it. I find that listing out all the good things you have and being grateful for them helps me to keep focus on the positive. And you have the power if you set your mind to it.

Rowena @ rolala loves

Kezzie said...

Oh dear Imogen, I know how much you've battled with self-confidence and I just want to remind you how much you've achieved as well as this recent (brilliant!!!!) Acolade! You just have to keep trying to believe it. And also, to keep telling us here, because encouragement of others is one huge key factor in battling against insecurity! No one here just cares about your pretty outfits only, we care about you, the person, and want to boost your esteem!! Never be afraid to share!!! I've come so far in my self-esteem but even I, on a daily basis, doubt myself. It takes one stroppy kid ruining a lesson for me to think I am not doing a good job but I know God had made me unique and special and that in itself is enough for me to feel encouraged when I feel this say. And that I have another day to do what I do better. The lesson I taught my year 5s today was one I've been tweaking over the last 5 years, it has never been right and finally today, I got it right, it worked in the way I wanted it to but it took 5years of adapting to get it!!x x