It feels like a long time since I last posted and I have missed that. Last week I bought this red coat from Target in the 50% off sale for the incredible price of $35. I still can't believe it. Even though I already have a red trench coat which I posted here, this coat I just bought is very warm and actually has some level of practicality in contrast with many other pieces in my wardrobes. I always love a red coat for winter. I borrowed the cardigan from one of my sisters and I love it so much because it is from Alannah Hill and has a kitten design. I wish it was actually my cardigan but I certainly loved wearing it for the day. I will show the shoes which I recently bought from modcloth in more detail in a later post.
As my friends, I would like to share something personal with you. In the last week I have felt very unhappy and the reasons for this and the motivation behind what I wrote two posts ago is that I have just wasted a lifetime opportunity in relation to travel. I won't go into the details because my decision will seem like the wrong one and I have already faced widespread judgement about my choices. For the past couple of months I was convinced that I had made the right decision to stay in Sydney and I constantly told people not to dictate what I wanted from my life but if I am truly honest with myself, I do have more of a desire to travel than I ever thought I did and I do want to see the world. I wouldn't say I fully regret my decision not to take up this opportunity because my main view on life is that choices should be made based on present circumstances rather than what may objectively be seen as correct. However, I feel a deep sense of sadness surrounding this situation because the reason I didn't go was once again based on my fears and anxieties. I couldn't face an extremely long plane trip, I was scared to leave my comfort zone, I would miss Juliette too much and I was insecure about certain relationships that I felt like I couldn't leave here at the present time. It is once again an indication of the extent to which anxiety rules my life and that concerns me deeply. I know I will still enjoy the holidays while still in Sydney because I have many tasks to entertain myself but there are many mixed feelings and an inital sense of sadness that I need to get past.